Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

No Reconciliation

January 4, 2012

As today marks one year to the day that I broke up with cigarettes I felt it fitting to wish my lungs a Happy 1st Birthday.

Any of you that follow this blog know that typically this is the part where I would add photos of my lungs in their youth, learning to ride a bike, graduating from high school, playing beer pong and backpacking around Europe.

The truth is I no longer have any of those photos, I hacked them all up about a month after cigarettes left.


“Junk” Mail

April 19, 2011

Do you ever receive snail mail anymore, I mean other than bills and flyers and the like?. I certainly don’t, well not until a few days ago that is. I opened my mailbox to find an envelope addressed to me but with no return address. Weird I thought, who would send me a conspicuous white envelope with no return address?. I took a beat and looked it over, it was light and a bit thick in the middle. I racked my brain trying to think who I might have pissed off, who might have good reason to send me a dusting of Anthrax?. I opened it slowly so as not to disturb it’s contents, I peaked in and there smiling out at me I found a single cojone, a blue one at that!

What twisted person would send me such a “package”, who would send me a smiley blue ball lapel pin?. Immediately my friend Sara came to mind, I sent her an inquisitive text to which she replied back “Do you like it?”. I told her that I did like it and that I thought she was “nuts”. I never thought I would admit it but I love receiving “Junk” mail.

Sara has recently created this clever little website, it’s called eager beaver, it would make me very happy if all 4 of you would go there, sign up and become eager beavers yourselves.

It’s Over!

January 4, 2011

I’m breaking up with you! You have been in my life for far too long and I’m leaving you for good. I realize it won’t be easy, I’ve become dependent on you to make me feel better about myself and you have done a masterful job manipulating me into believing that I need you.

The truth is I’ve known for a long time that I don’t need you, that I’m better than you and better off without you. I know, I know we’ve been through this before and I’ve heard all of your excuses as to why we should give it another shot but I will not fall for your lies this time. I’m going to tear you off like the f#*@ing leach you are once and for all.

Sure, you have comforted me through some difficult times and we have partied on more occasions then I can recall but for all I have given of myself all I ever get in return from you is misery. There will be pangs of fear over the empty space you leave behind but I’ve already got plans to fill those spots with new healthy relationships. I have a date with boxing next week and I have a new room mate taking your place at home in a couple of days. Her name is Vita-Mix, she’s a bit of a loud mouth but she makes me feel good about myself and she can cook.

Oh and I know we will see each other at those places we both seem to frequent. Obviously I can’t stop you from patronizing them but don’t bother saying hello, you are embarrassing and you reek.

Happier Times.

You have until midnight tonight to get your shit out!

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